Recap.

2017 was a fair year for me. That’s the best compliment I can give it. It had its fair share of ups and downs.

I turned 21 in 2017. July 29.

Craziest year yet! Freaky 21 is actually a thing😂 The best gift I recieved this year was the growth I’ve gone through as an individual and the lessons I have learnt.

Lessons such as knowing when to let go, moving on and creating space for better things to come.

When the year started, I was in love, school was not in session and I was not in the best head space. I was a wreck underneath all my composure and I only realized this when I had an ugly emotional breakdown.( https://wp.me/p6VeO2-7u )

When it ended, I was in love only with myself😍

September-December was the best semester I’ve ever had. I had the time of my life. I managed to accomplish a couple of goals I had set for myself. I wrote more, took more pictures and allowed myself to have more fun, but most importantly, I was more positive in my thinking beacause garbage in, garbage out.

I also failed to accomplish some things. Things like exercising and eating right😂 I don’t even know what happened guys. Its the devil.

But my biggest highlight of the year was the people who made it an easy year for me. My roommates, my strong female support system, my family, my close friends, random strangers I met who were so kind to me, dudes who hit on me😂, human beings who spread love, cute animals that melted my heart😍, adorable babies, oh my goodness, did I mention I am now an aunt to the cutest little girl; Tahilla– First of Her Name, Stealer of Hearts and Bearer of Chubby Cheeks?

Sorry I digressed😅

Where was I? Oh yes, my vote of thanks. To wind up, you guys made my 2017. My readers. Yee who turn up to read my posts everytime, no matter how crappy. Yee who leave me really great comments that make me cry sometimes because lets face it, I am so in touch with my feelings😢 Yee who share my content, talk about my blog to people, follow my blog, are subscribed to my blog and generally support my little space on the internet. Thank You So so much. You mean the world to me, believe it or not😘

So cheers🍻 Happy new year. May your 2018 be the bomb!

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Quarter to 3.

It’s quarter to 3AM.

I’m restless, I can’t fall asleep though I am completely exhausted. My flesh is droopy, my bones are like lead, my soul is tortured, my brain is overworked.

I call you and ask; You know what I need? I need to escape this exhausion. I need to fly away.

Meet me on the roof when the clock strikes three. Bring a joint, I’ll bring the lighter.

Allow me to bare my soul for a moment so you can pick your way through the thorns and find the root cause of all this misery inside of me.

Allow me to unload my thoughts on you so you can sift through the muck and run around in the labyrinth that is my head and make sense of everything.

Is it just me and this weed or are you always this beautiful?

Will you lay beside me tonight? I don’t want to be alone in the dark with my thoughts. Not tonight.

Hold me through the night, help me rest my body. Maybe with you by my side I can finally sleep, I can finally dream. I can forget all that’s bearing me down just for one night.

You sit there quietly and listen to all my crazy ramblings. From where I sit, your halo is blinding me.

You spread your wings, take me into your arms and we fly up into the starry sky. We fly higher and higher. We are so high up I feel larger than life and my troubles become nonexistent.

Six words to describe me.

Last week we had a Press Week at my school. It was epic! It was basically a chance for media students to interact with media professionals and learn how to put our theory to practice.

Anyway, there was this speaker, Dan Mule, from Nation Media Group who addressed the topic of personal branding.

There were five steps to creating your personal brand and the fifth one was: six words to describe you.

What six words would you use to describe yourself? What six words would your friends describe you with? I was very curious so first thing I did when I got home was to ask my two close friends and the person who knows me best; me.

Lets get to it.

Maddo went first.

1. Cautious.

I am extremely cautious in everything I do but most especially, in what I say. I think before saying anything; everything that comes out of my mouth is filtered.

This annoys her so much😂😂 because it makes it impossible to know exactly what I think. I hold myself back from saying what I really feel for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. I agree😅

2. Neat.

I am a neat freak. I love my things(and others’) to be orderly.

It’s like a curse😂

3. Private.

I am very private about my affairs. I withhold so much information about myself or my life when my friends are busy opening up about theirs.

I am just a very reserved person💁 I am working on opening up more though.

4. (Hater of conflict).

I couldn’t find a proper adjective to describe this. I absolutely hate conflict and avoid it at all costs.

Even an arguement on the smallest of things drains all my energy and happiness. It’s as if my soul is being drained.

Maybe that’s why I’m cautious with my words? To avoid conflicts? Psychoanalysis anyone?

5. Smart.

(I literally aaawed at this one.)

I am very intelligent. Among the most intelligent people she knows😂 I am very humble by the way😅

6. Planner.

I plan for everything. I have a list of goals and stategies and steps to follow joted down on my various notebooks😂

I thrive on planning for anything. It gives me a clear vision of where I’m headed. Also gives me a sense of control. I am kind of a control freak😅

Stacia went next.

1. Self-critic.

I criticize myself too much. I see faults in myself others cannot even see. I am too hard on myself.

I totally agree. I am my biggest critic. I’ll criticize my body, my art, my social skills, basically anything about me. The thing is, especially with my art, I have so much more potential to do better and I push myself to reach that potential ,too hard at times.

2. Neat.

If it appears more than twice, I’m winning at it😊 unless it’s a negative.

3. (Phone addict.)

I am always on my phone. When I wake up, it’s the first thing I’ll look at.

Truth.

90% of the time, I’m reading an e-book or writing something on my phone or running around wikipedia or having a really interesting conversation or passing through social media. The other 10% I spend going through my gallery or staring at my wallpaper so I look like I’m busy when in actual sense, I’m avoiding something or someone😅 This is clearly a problem.

4. Mindful.

I am always thinking of other people. How are they feeling? What do they need? How will they feel if I say this?(hence the cautious words maybe?)

I do think of other people a lot and sometimes forget myself. I am learning to put myself first these days and still mind everyone else around me.

5. Knowledgeable.

I know so many things about almost everything. I almost know every song, every movie that was ever made, almost every science related thing….you get the gist? My general knowledge is on another level🙈

I am still very humble😅

I think she was calling me a nerd polietly. Thanks babe☺

Ps: If you’re looking for a nerd for your game night, contact me. Take my friend’s word for it.

6. (Talented singer.)

I can really sing. Like really sing. But I don’t show my talent.

Okay, I love singing. It’s great therapy to be honest but again, I have the potential to be better. I’m not ready to push myself that hard to be better at it. At least not now. I’m currently focusing on other things.

I was the last one.

1. Indecisive.

This is one of my biggest flaws. I simply cannot decide what I want sometimes. It’s frustrating but I am a work in progress😃

2. Passionate.

I put my heart and soul into things and people and causes I love and care about. I always go hard for them.

3. Humanitarian.

I believe in the power of humanity and our capacity to love and actually change the world. Of course humanity can disappoint you and you lose faith in them sometimes but I try to be the love I want to see in the world.

4. Inconsistent.

If you read my blog, you know my struggles😂

I am really working hard to follow through with things I decide to do.

5. Mindful.

Winning☺

6. Peaceful.

The fact that I hate conflict makes me a propagator of peace. I like to maintain peace wherever I am.

I am also calm and quiet unless you disrespect me and try to take away my rights and freedoms, then we’ll have a problem.

I guess that’s where I draw the line and get involved in conflict. It will tear me apart but my dignity as a human being is far more important.

This excersise was such an eye opener. Somethings I never even realised about myself till my friends pointed them out. You guys should try it out with your friends and see how it goes.

But first, give me one word to describe yourself in the comments. Any word you feel like😃

Special thanks to my rommates Maddo and Stacia – my country 21 people😂

The talk.

Adulting is hard. It’s even harder when you have no idea whatsoever what you’re doing or where you’re going. That’s why we need mentors and role models and parents. To guide us and show us which way has better lighting so we don’t stumble blindly in the dark.

One thing I wish I was given good and sufficient advice on is relationships and sex. Yes, I said sex.

Disclaimer: I am about to make some people very uncomfortable. Quit now or be traumatised for the rest of the day or maybe week? I don’t know.

Now that the people who get uncomfortable even on the mention of the word sex have left the class, back benchers kujeni mbele. Settle down, settle down. Maddo I see you, thanks for attending☺

As I was saying, I wish my parents had given me a better talk on sex education and relationships in general. But you know African parents, right? They will avoid talking about it for as long as they can(yaani you can be turning 40 and they never talked to you about it and they sleep like babies at night, without an ounce of guilt in them.)

My parents never sat me down to give me the talk. They knew I was getting plenty of the knowledge from school because I came home with notes and pamphlets and stories about what we were taught at school. Back then, most public schools had a Peer educator programme where a bunch of us were selected to go learn sex ed then we’d come back and teach our peers. I was a peer educator so I was full of knowledge.

But teachers at school will teach you like teachers do- in a classroom, with chalk, charts and a little intimidation.
We needed our folks to fill in some gaps for us.

But African parents are so skilled in dodging awkward conversations with their children. My friend was telling me about how her parents gave her the knowledge. Her mum would leave a book like “Questions Adolescents Ask” on the sittingroom table where everyone could see it and they, being curious kids, would pick it up and devour its content. Their dad would tell them a story and go round and round the point until finally, the story would end and they would it would my friend and her siblings a long time before they realised the main message in the story.

My parents were almost the same. When I first had my periods, my mum handed me a packet of pads, a smile and one awkward sentence, “Now that you’ve become a woman, don’t play with boys.” Lol😂😂 This haunts me even in my sleep. I feel like she should have given me more, no matter how awkward it would have gotten, instead of assuming I already knew.

The fact that they approached this subject which so much secrecy and shyness and aggression (my dad would chase away any boy he saw me talking to past 7 O’clock with a rungu and threats like ,”nikikuona hapa tena nitakukata miguu”. Yeah, his plan was for me to be perpetually single for the rest of my life) only made us more curious to find out why.

See our generation now.
We are so permissive about relationships and sex. We have made relationships and sex to be such a casual thing. Random hookups with random people we meet, two week relationships, general failure in relationships because of the smallest things that can be worked out but we are just unwilling and so many more.

If our parents(or should I say some because some parents are like superheroes in this department) had approached this subject in a more serious way, would we have a different perspective on sex and relationships in general? Maybe.
Maybe we would talk relationships seriously (and some of us actually do, bless you guys😂). Maybe we would see sex as something sacred we share with people we love and value and actually remember their names the next morning (again, some of us do, y’all the real MVPs😂💪).

Let’s not put all the blame on African parents though. We, as a generation, have failed ourselves as well. Every generation has its fair share of shortcomings and so do we. And our generation will also play a part in shaping the next generation’s perceptions about many things. Let’s not fail them.

In the mean time, can we agree to be sensible? Our parents may not have tackled this sex ed issue in the best way possible but, we still got knowledge. We live in the age of information. Let’s get informed, make good decisions and stay safe. We owe ourselves that.

Did your parents give you a proper talk? Let me know in the comments😃

A doctor, a Sunday night and a very random story.

If this isn't me😂

I hate hospitals. I hate pills. I hate(I’m terrified of) injections😭 I like funny doctors though, like actual funny ones who make you laugh and forget you’re nervous and terrified that he’ll give you an injection on the butt and make you cry like a little girl.

Doctors who don’t even try to be funny. They do it effortlessy (also, they probably do stand up comedy in a dingy bar on Sunday nights and draw out a big crowd of people in their forties going through mid-life crises). Those are my favourite kind of doctors.

Lately I’ve been falling ill often. Bacteria and viruses just won’t let me rest. So I’m sitting in the waiting room of my school Health Unit on a Sunday night waiting for the doctor.

Mosquitoes too aren’t letting me rest. They’re feasting on my legs😢

I’m hoping this doctor is one of them. He just walked in and he has a potbelly and a mustache. That’s a good sign, right? I think that kitambi backs up my theory of him going to dingy bars on Sunday nights. He looks like a beer guy. Beer guys are funny, right?

He just called me in. But he pronunced my name as ‘Teiii” like tei for pombe. Yaani he’s in such a hurry to go out to that bar and meet his people that he sees my name as pombe.

He leaves me in his office for a moment. More mosquitoes. His stethoscope is on the table ptactically just begging me to pick it up and check my heartbeat but I decide not to because my reflexes are slow at the moment and he will definitely catch me. I’m not ready to explain myself out of a situation like that.

I was so tempted to ask him, “So, do you ever do stand up?” But I restrain myself. Let him take his time. Good comedy takes time. His office is so dull.

There’s a bible on his shelf. It looks sooo new and unopened. So he doesn’t read the Bible either? I was really looking forward to the ‘Moses jokes’😣

He gets back and diagnoses me. I have to go to the lab to get a blood test.

Aki this guy wasn’t funny😢 His kitambi and mustache are all hype and no show. His wife should make him go to the gym and shave that mustache. What a dissappointment!

Okay, honestly, I am scared. Bloodtests equal injections. The guy who is taking my blood is flirting with me or trying to. What’s wrong with him??? I am sick and nervous and he wants to know why he never sees me around? First of all, just cut to the chase and take my blood. Second, he was probably making small talk, which I still hate, because I looked terrified.

He takes my blood, I wince a little then I wait for a while for the results. He sends me back to the doctor.

“So whats wrong with me doc?”

“Malaria.” Thats all he says, no mosquito jokes, no nothing. He prescribes me pills to pick up at the pharmacy.

I can’t hold it in anymore, I have to ask him.

“So, are you a beer guy?”

“Excuse me?”

“Is beer your prefered drink?”

He looks at me skeptically, laughs and says yes.

Great. There is still hope for him. Maybe he is going through a comedian’s block. You know? Like a writer’s block for comedians. I totally made that up. A dryspell. Did I just say that?😂😂😂

Taking Stock 3.

It’s been two months since my last post. My biggest excuse is that I’ve been busy with school. My actual excuse is that I was stuck in a rut. I still kinda am.

But so many people have been asking me if I have any new content and that’s challenged me so much. Its time to get back on the wagon and I thought I’d start with taking stock :

Amazed at how many people actually read my blog(like every post) and appreciate the content I put out. You guys are the realest❤

Appreciating everyone who shares my sense of humor, music and art, and everyone who challenges me to produce awesome content and love to read my posts🙏

Being still and kmowing that He is God.

Craving clarity and closure, as always, because I find it hard to progress without these.

Crushing on everyone with healthy dreadlocks.

Considering dyeing my dreadlocks. Still haven’t decided on a colour though, any suggestions?

Dreaming about a vacay.

Denying the title Slay Queen and blocking anyone who calls me that. I’m not playing. This is a story for another day though.

Drinking fanta passion a lot😍

Eating healthy, I think.

Excited about the holidays☺

Feeling absolutely grateful for how far we’ve come this year.

Focusing on me more❤

Jamming to this song Suited by Shekinah from South Africa. I swear this song gives me soulful vibes🙌

Keeping a cool head even when I am so upset I could stab someone with a pencil.

Listening to this podcast called Call Your Girlfriend by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow. These girls are bomb!

Learning to walk away from things that give me grief even though I love them.

Loving the woman I have become in 2017❤

Making a neon green mat for a cute little puppy called Sunny.

Missing 105.5 X fm so much 😭 Haishiki huku penye niko.

Needing too much attention I’m practically an infant.

Owning my feelings and my mistakes.

Obsessed with wallpapers I get from Pinterest😍 Contact me if intetested.

Procrastinating EVERYTHING I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Reading uuum does reading the ingredients to food supplies count as reading? No? Okay then, how about textbooks and notes?

Smiling from little things like remembering crazy situations I’ve been in this past months ☺

Slaying my goals and resolutions for this year and I am so damn proud.

Treating myself often because I deserve it. Pedis, manis, candy, you name it.

Writing too many love stories.

Waiting naah I’m done waiting! If it matters to me I’m going ahead to pursue it and so should you.

Wanting inner peace and general peace for the Country✌

I’m working on this week’s posts and I hope you like them. Suggestions on what you’d like me to write about are also welcome😃 Just leave me a comment here or connect with me on:

Email- selinateyie@gmail.com

Facebook- Selina Teyie

Instagram- @selina_teyie

Twitter- @SelinaTeyie

Nice day peeps✌

Embrace the uncertainty.

Calvin is right😂😂


I met up with my bestie (Diana) from high school this  weekend to do some catching up. It was a lot of fun. She also runs a fashion blog at herorielcloset.wordpress.com , check her out 😃
We reminisced and talked about our current lives and our plans for the future and boys😂 and pretty much everything we could think of. Especially navigating life in our twenties and how our lives could be made into a sitcom😂

The main similarity between us was the level of uncertainty we had about life. Are we doing it right? Should we have figured it out by now or when are we supposed to have figured it out? Basically, we don’t know what we are doing but it’s okay. 

For me, the challenge I’ve encountered as an adult in this modern age is money and believing in my art. They are interconnected so much. I need money to further my art and I need my art to make money. It sucks sometimes but we have to manage.

We’re young, without stable incomes, probably depending on our parents, in school working our butts off, paying bills (with money from our parents😂), maintaining our social lives, paying taxes and basically getting used to being grown ups and it is hectic.

We need to take a break and take it easy on ourselves. One day, we will probably have it figured out (though this is very unlikely, lol). In the meantime, have fun. Embrace the uncertainty. Climb mountains and rooftops (Diana and I went to the top of the KICC – fun times😍), go out more, love yourself, meet new people and enjoy your twenties as much as possible.

I was reading bikozulu last year and I came across a comment that I loved so much. I had to screenshot it because it was sooo good. It said:

I think the biggest shock we get as adults are the truths no one ever really told us about:

That things will not always go our way, that the world owes you nothing (it was here first), you will not always be loved back, sometimes love just fades or it is not enough and that’s okay, that horrible things happen to good people, that to be human is to be flawed and no one has figured it out….

Take that as advice as we begin this week and as September draws near and school opens.
Connect with me😃

Facebook: Selina Teyie.

Facebook Page: The Tess Chronicles. 

Twitter: @SelinaTeyie

Instagram: @selina_teyie

Email: selinateyie@gmail.com