Don’t stand in the door.

Life is dynamic. We are always on the move as human beings. Places to be, people to see, things to do. That’s just the way it is.

And we interact with so many people on a daily basis; people who impact our lives in a small way, a big way or no way at all and they either stay in our lives for a long time, a short time or they don’t stay at all.

Either way, people are always in our lives, coming in or going out. I’d like to believe its a cycle of life. A natural process that lets us prevent ourselves from crowding our lives with unnecessary people.

But sometimes there are people who get stuck in between our doors. They are neither coming in nor going out; they’re just there. People like these really give me grief because I never know what to do with them. They aren’t helping me in any way and they can’t quite decide whether or not they want to be in my life.

You see, they stay in between that door just incase they still need me and they still want to keep a distance. This is usually so confusing for me (I don’t know if you guys have ever experienced this) because I like things straight forward. Are we still friends? Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t like maybes. Give me a clear answer because there is nothing as bad as being left hanging waiting for someone to make up their mind. Clarity. Closure.

It really takes a toll on someone and holds them back from moving forward. When someone is standing in the door, you can’t really get in or get out unless you push them out can you? You probably asked them,

“Are you coming in or going out, Sir?” and they just said nothing or,

“I’m not quite sure, My Lady.”

You can’t push them inside either because you can’t force someone to be in your life. They have to decide on their own.

I know now how terrible a feeling it is and I hope I have not or will not do that to anyone ever.

You can’t be out here derailing people’s progress. If you don’t want to be in people’s lives anymore, then remove yourself out of the picture. Don’t stand in the door way because you’ll prevent other people from coming in or going out. Or even the door being closed. Leave so better traffic can come in. You owe it to people.

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Taking Stock 1.

I finally found a good time to sit down, relax and write. I’ve been sooo lazy. Please forgive me. Its difficult navigating between classes all week, laziness, time with friends, procrastination, and actually coming up with content.

I am here now though.

January has been great, though I started it out solving unfinished hduabusiness from last year. So let’s take stock, shall we?

Appreciating the small circle friendships I have. They really hold me down.

Feeling so so happy. Wow. I have reached levels of happiness I’ve never been at before. S/O to everyone responsible. You are the real MVPs.

Fighting to keep the people who matter to me in my life but being smart enough to know when to stop fighting.

Hating this little patch of untanned skin on my nose from wearing my glasses so long in the sun.

Loving my dreadlocks. I’ve been curling them when I go to bed so I’d get curls in the morning. So far so good.

Reading this anthology of Sherlock Holmes’ adventures by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I’m reading it very slowly because Holmes is so sneaky and if you don’t pay attention you won’t see him coming.

Looking forward to taking this roadtrip at the end of February with my friends. I hope it pulls through.

Wearing mom jeans all the damn time! I have three pairs and they are my staples. Basically, it’s my starter pack. Mom jeans, red lipstick and hoops.

Eating brown bread every morning, every week. I just prefer it to white bread these days. Do I see the benefits of it you ask? Ask me again in a month.

Drinking teacoffee a lot. That’s tea mixed with coffee. Is it unhealthy? Probably. Could it be killing me slowly? Let’s not jump to conclusions. Is it yummy? Well, my taste buds are crazy so I can’t say for sure.

Making some big bold changes. I decided to branch out and look for a personal website for my blog. It is almost done.

Dreading getting that website. I don’t know, I feel like I’m not quite ready for it. What is wrong with me?

Listening to a lot British artists lately. There’s this guy in particular, Sampha. His song (No one knows me) Like the piano is my favourite. His voice just gives me great vibes.

Celebrating getting closure. Aki closure and clarity are so important to my peace of mind. If I get a daughter I’m naming her Clarity. Sorry kiddo.

Learning to let Jesus take the wheel and to let time run its course. Also, I’m learning to talk as much as I listen.

Digging the podcast ,The Spread by Kaz Lucas and Nini Wacera. I recently discovered it. Its a sex podcast thats very informative and bold and sensual wah! Y’all should check it out.

Suffering from procrastination, lateness syndrome, ignorance (sometimes), and antisocial tendancies. I thought I left them in 2017.

Crushing on a certain woman called Sage aka Barbara Chemutai. I want to meet her so I can be speechless and just stare at her in awe.

Writing (in my head) the importance of being open minded and being informed and being tolerant in these contemprary times in order to accommodate each other as human beings on this beautiful earth of ours (this would be such a kick ass essay, damn).

Needing a mentor. Can you feel the desparate undertone in my words?

Dreaming of the future.

Treating myself every end month courtesy of a chama I’m in with my girl Stacia. Goodtimes.

Living by the mantra Just go with it. This is my main goal this year, to just go with the flow.

As you can see, my January hasn’t been thaaat exciting. But the year is just starting. Let’s see where it goes.

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Have a great February guys✌