Embrace the uncertainty.

Calvin is right๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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I met up with my bestie (Diana) from high school this  weekend to do some catching up. It was a lot of fun. She also runs a fashion blog at herorielcloset.wordpress.com , check her out ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
We reminisced and talked about our current lives and our plans for the future and boys๐Ÿ˜‚ and pretty much everything we could think of. Especially navigating life in our twenties and how our lives could be made into a sitcom๐Ÿ˜‚

The main similarity between us was the level of uncertainty we had about life. Are we doing it right? Should we have figured it out by now or when are we supposed to have figured it out? Basically, we don’t know what we are doing but it’s okay. 

For me, the challenge I’ve encountered as an adult in this modern age is money and believing in my art. They are interconnected so much. I need money to further my art and I need my art to make money. It sucks sometimes but we have to manage.

We’re young, without stable incomes, probably depending on our parents, in school working our butts off, paying bills (with money from our parents๐Ÿ˜‚), maintaining our social lives, paying taxes and basically getting used to being grown ups and it is hectic.

We need to take a break and take it easy on ourselves. One day, we will probably have it figured out (though this is very unlikely, lol). In the meantime, have fun. Embrace the uncertainty. Climb mountains and rooftops (Diana and I went to the top of the KICC – fun times๐Ÿ˜), go out more, love yourself, meet new people and enjoy your twenties as much as possible.

I was reading bikozulu last year and I came across a comment that I loved so much. I had to screenshot it because it was sooo good. It said:

I think the biggest shock we get as adults are the truths no one ever really told us about:

That things will not always go our way, that the world owes you nothing (it was here first), you will not always be loved back, sometimes love just fades or it is not enough and that’s okay, that horrible things happen to good people, that to be human is to be flawed and no one has figured it out….

Take that as advice as we begin this week and as September draws near and school opens.
Connect with me๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Facebook: Selina Teyie.

Facebook Page: The Tess Chronicles. 

Twitter: @SelinaTeyie

Instagram: @selina_teyie

Email: selinateyie@gmail.com

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OWN YOUR FEELINGS.

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I read this tweet (a screenshot of it actually) from Childish Gambino the other day that summed up pretty much how I was feeling.

 It was a tweet about our generation and  how we basically are cold hearted. Girls are scared to love and boys don’t show their feelings. So we end up putting up these giant walls to protect ourselves from falling in love, showing our true feelings and being honest with ourselves.

Truth be told, I go there too often myself. Sometimes I just say, “You know what? Fuck feelings! I’m no longer giving fucks.” Because people and life in general can get you to that point.

But then we can get so accustomed to not caring and not giving a damn about things and not feeling things we are supposed to feel. We push our feelings deep down inside us. We actually miss out on feeling the right way at a particular moment because we have become so used to not feeling things. We want to feel the good and not feel the bad yet it’s part of being human.

I have done that a few times in the name of “hiding my feelings from people.” I did not want to show my feelings in front of people I felt were not supposed to see my vulnerability. So I ‘postponed’ that feeling for some other time. Worst.idea.ever. 

When I confronted the feeling later in private, something terrible happened. Many other feelings I had supressed previously, on diffetent occassions and I had completely forgotten about, resurfaced, all at once. They literally came back to bite me in the ass. It.was.ugly. 

I had a mental breakdown for like half an hour. Imagine a mixture of emotions from everywhere attacking you and you do not know how to feel? I just cried for 30 minutes from all the confusion. Thank God I was alone and I managed to get my shit together.

I am officially working on owning my feelings now because that breakdown was crazy to the core. I thought I was going insane!

I think we become honest with ourselves when we actually own our feelings and allow ourselves to feel in the moment. This is so important for mental health and happiness. 

Life is too short to not feel!

Catch feelings sometimes, give fucks, own your feelings but do not ignore them. 

Feel those feels y’all.

8 ways to prevent burnout this high stress season.

It’s here again. That mid-semester madness. Classes are suddenly all week long. Lecturers aren’t messing around. CATs are coming. Assignments and projects are piling. We’ve all been there and all you can do is pray you don’t lose it.( I know I’ve contemplated dropping out during this season,ha!)

With this madness comes the burnout. When you’re absolutely tired and you can no longer function well due to overworking. You become exhausted, cranky, skeptical (haha) and sometimes depressed. To prevent this from happening;

1.  Take a break.

 Remember, Rome was not built in a day. You probably will not be able to finish those assignments all at once. But don’t quit.

When you feel overwhelmed:

  • Go scoop some fresh air.
  • Go for a walk.
  • Take a power nap (my favorite).
  • You can also skip class for a day or two. This one is a big risk especially if you’ve got lecturers who take roll call. Sometimes you just need to getaway for a while. You can always ask your pal akusignie ,lol.

2. Eat.

Now is not the time to be skipping meals especially breakfast. You’re going to need all the energy you can get. The key word here is balanced diet + water.

3. Sleep.

Get plenty of sleep. I’m talking 7, 8 hours of sleep. Don’t deprive yourself of sleep.

4. Time management.

Get your shit together guys! If you manage your time well, for example maximize on weekends, you won’t be having a breakdown on Monday morning when an assignment is due.

5. Too much on your plate.

My mum always says,don’t put too much food on your plate if you know you can’t finish it. Bite off only what you can chew. Do an amount of work you know you can handle. 

6. Know when to stop.

Listen to your brain. When you feel like stopping, stop and go back to step one above. You are allowed to slow down.

7. Look on the bright side.

All this stress means end of semester is just around the corner. โ˜บ

8. Treat yourself.

Because life is hard enough as it is and so is Uni.

  • Binge.
  • Pamper yourself.
  • Hangout with friends and forget your troubles for a while.

I’m currently at home but all my friends at school seem to be talking about is this mid-semester madness. Take it easy guys. I hope this helpsโ˜บ

A LETTER TO MY 16 YEAR OLD SELF.

If I had a portal that goes back in time,I’d go back to the year 2012 (and even further back coz there’s so much I’d like to do ๐Ÿ™‚ ) That was the year I was in form 2 at Moi Girls’ school Nairobi,16 years old,with a head full of dreams and no idea what to do with my future.
                                        Shiraku Tess.

                                        Form 2 R.

                                        September,

                                        18,2012.

Dear 16 year old self,

Gosh! How’s it going? I know you won’t believe it but it’s me! I mean it’s you,yaani it’s us – I’M YOU ๐Ÿ™‚ Yeap,it’s you from the future. I know you’ve been waiting for something like this for a while now,what with all those Sci-fi movies you like watching(hahaha,geek).

Now before you get all excited,the future isn’t as hyped as it is in the movies. No electric trains yet,but they just started building this thing called The Standard Gauge Railway and it’s a big deal so there’s still hope. Bado matatu tauts rule Nairobi. Oh and Uhunye is president,Raila won’t win in 2013! (talk about spoilers,hehe).

Form two,huh? Damn,how is double chemistry treating you? I know you’re  feeling like strangling the teacher and asking yourself “Sasa periodic table itanisaidia aje in future?” Truth is,it really won’t unless you want to be a pharmacist(which you won’t be,lol) or you want to be a false evangelist(there’s this pastor called Kanyari you’ll hear about!). But you really need to study it coz you want to get an A of 82 points in form 4(which you won’t get but you’ll get over it ๐Ÿ™‚ tihihi ) Don’t blame Mr.Temu when you fail chem,you are the problem hehe.

Adolescence has just hit you for the second time. That explains your boobs and bum growing overnight. And your rebel streak! Can’t wait to grow up,huh? Get an ID? Go to Uni? Move out coz dad is stressing you like you can’t believe? Well you better rethink that coz adulthood is no walk in the park. It’s more like a long walk in a big jungle like the Amazon,it’s dark and scary where every living thing is carnivorous!!!! Did I paint that picture right? It’s a cruel place out there. Enjoy being a kid coz in about 4 years,you’ll be paying rent and bills za stima na maji ๐Ÿ˜ฆ (Not with your own money yet,ya mum na dad,but it’s still stress.) Alafu,continue ignoring those suitors……you’ll get better ones in future ๐Ÿ˜‰

Everyone knows what they want to be in future except you? Wambui knows. Dee knows. Ni wewe tu? Well according to the rules of time travel,I’m not supposed to change anything so I’ll give you a hint :It’s what you do best ๐Ÿ™‚ Keep dreaming love. And just be yourself (you’re a weirdo and everything but you’re great ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Make lots of friends by the way,whaaat! You’re going to meet these two lovely girls from high school in University. You’ll be roommates in 2nd year. You’ll have a swell time I promise you ๐Ÿ™‚ Next time I’ll tell you all about.

One more thing! There’ll come a time you’ll be insecure about so much stuff. Your body. Your talents.  Your worth. There’s so much I’d like to tell you to assure you of how great you are,how beautiful,intelligent and capable you are but I’ll need a whole other letter for that! Plus,it’s better if you experience stuff yourself,it’ll be better that way. In the mean time,just know that you are amazing,strong and loved ๐Ÿ™‚

Ps,you won’t be getting a phone till you’re 18! Yeap,life’s like that ๐Ÿ™‚

xoxoxo

Love,Tess.
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TECHNOLOGY HAS RUINED US…OKAY IT’S RUINED ME MORE.

My dad has had it up to his head with the youth and technology. Tumemfika kwa kichwa. It’s because we’re always on our phones,all.the.bloody.time,so he says! He’ll be chatting with my mum then he’ll glance at me and comment in mother tongue(thinking I won’t understand,lol) “does she ever put that phone down?” Or “today on my way home a kid almost got run over,he was on his phone” . Then I’ll look up from my phone and wonder if he thought of me when he saw that kid,yikes dad o_O

He probably thinks I don’t have a life away from my phone. I actually do. We all do. We have  real friends,who have lives away from their phones too. They also have parents who worry about them everyday. They worry they’ll get hit by cars while replying to texts too,dad.

But like almost all Kenyan parents,he just won’t hear it! Haha he knows everything,my dad. He knows I have two friends only,only two friends! Wawili tu,hahaha. He knows I’m short sighted because I’m always staring at my phone(okay this is sort of true) and he also knows my reason for being anti-social is my phone.

“I’m not anti-social dad”

“Yes you are”

“Okay,but it’s not because of my phone”

“Why is it then?”

“Well….just because”

“Okay” Then he’ll walk off to bed with that dads-know- everything smile ๐Ÿ™‚

I bet he’ll have another conversation about it with my mum later. My mum will tell him to stop worrying about me,that I’ll be fine,I’m not addicted to phone. That he should really go to bed and stop bugging her ๐Ÿ™‚ yaaay mum ๐Ÿ™‚ Then she’ll yell at me to turn off my phone and go to sleep. Hebu lala wewe,you’re phone is making noise! So I’ll put it on silent. 

But my dad will continue lying awake,thinking of how his daughter is missing out on life because of her phone.

“Ama we take that phone away from her? It’s a privilege that can easily be taken away. Unaonaje?”

Silence.

“Hun?”

False snoring.

So he’ll roll over and fall asleep ๐Ÿ™‚ #mumrules.

The struggle

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Then at 5:30am my alarm goes off. This is where shida comes in. This is where technology went wrong. Why did they create a snooze button and a dismiss button? My alarm tone is Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles. I will snooze it till 6:30am. I will not feel an ounce of guilt. With my face buried in the pillow,I will reach over to the nightstand and press snooze. Yes,I can do it blindfolded. That’s where technology has led me. So I just groan sleepily and say “oh shut up Beatles,I’m snoozing.” And   I here my dad shouting “you see? Technology has made them lazy! During my time,tuliamshwa na jogoo! I hope John Lennon haunts you in your sleep.

That one always wakes me up. O_o

###John Lennon was a member of The Beatles. They were the greatest rock boy band of all time.He was murdered in 1980.###

Have a great day beautiful people

Stay awesome

xoxoxo

Tess ๐Ÿ™‚