Fire Child.
She is fierce

She is a child of the fire

Clothed in the warmth of the sun and the heat of it’s flames

She walks the earth 

She scorches the earth

Her feet leave smoking prints as she trudges on

She wanders

She walks the desert day and night – illuminating

Brighter than the sun itself, brighter than the moon

She lights the way for her own children as her mother – sun, lit hers

She is a child of the fire

She is fierce.

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My mother, the herbalist.

Remember my post on taking stock last week? When I said I was smelling herbs? ( http://wp.me/p6VeO2-76 ) Well, it is getting pretty serious around here. My mum has brought home the big guns.

 I have been sick for a while now and my medication is not working. She just got frustrated one morning and I heard her on the phone.

“Her meds aren’t working. I think you’ll have to come in and check it yourself.”

(Person on the other side.)

“Yeah, kuja you see her, hizi dawa za wazungu pia huwa useless sometimes. I think ni vuindi.

(Person on the other side.)

She nods vigorously and hangs up.

“Who was that kwani?” I asked.

“I called my friend Harbert to come check you out. He’s an herbal doctor.” My mum is a big believer of natural remedies provided directly by Mother Nature.

So Harbert came home on Monday and checked me out. 

They discuss the diagnosis in luhya, which is pretty rude if you ask me because they think I don’t understand luhya. I’m the bloody patient so the least Harbert could do is address me personally. As you can tell, I was a little pissed. I’ll translate it.

“What do you think? Is it  vuindi ?”

“No. But I’ve seen this before. It’s not serious. Itaisha tu once you get her the herbs.”

My mum sighs with relief, not because the good doctor has said my case is treatable but because he said it is not vuindi.

Okay. Vuindi is this luhya thing, like a sort of witchcraft. Someone looks at you and “throws you sickness” to translate it directly. These things are real you guys, haha. Suddenly you can’t eat because your throat hurts or you start limping or something funny just happens to you. This is why I don’t like going upcountry sometimes. But there’s herbs to prevent this.

Anyway, my mum is told which herbs to get for me. She returns in the evening with so many plants, she looks like she uprooted an entire bush. There are little berries, purple roots, I swear there is one that looks like weeds we learnt about in Class Four Science. She tells me to wash them and pound them in a mortar.

“And then what?”

“You are to drink it and apply it around your neck twice a day.”

“Ha! I’m not drinking this stuff. These berries could be poisonous. What’s this purple stuff ata?” I say with a ddisgusted face.

“Nothing here is poisonous. My grandmother used to use these. You will drink it upende usipende. I didn’t look like a crazy lady picking plants by the roadside for you to refuse to drink this.”

So now I’m drinking this dark green concoction I thought I would have to drink with a bucket nearby in case I vomit but it’s surprisingly not bitter. It’s not kali at all. It’s just….unusual.

When I apply it on my neck, especially at night, I end up smelling like backed potatoes. I’m dreaming of potatoes too a lot lately. Could it be the herbs’ side effects? Ha, just kidding! It was only once😂
Ps: Mother’s day is this Sunday by the way. May 14th♥


Conversations with my alter ego.

What you’re about to read is sort of an interview. A dialogue. A conversation between my alter ego(Queer) and I(Tess). It is just a page from my weird imagination in an attempt to know what happiness really is. If you get confused, don’t worry, it happens to many people when they try to decipher a way through the maze in my head☺
T: What is happiness to you?

Q: Happiness? 

Um, wearing a clean bra☺

Being gifted happy socks on any occasion, blisssss.

Eating ugali and omena and it’s not even my birthday, wtf ily!

T: Let’s be realistic here for a moment.

Q: And what’s nonrealistic about hygiene and multicolored socks and favorite meals? They seem pretty real to me.

T: Okay then. What “psychological” things make you happy?

Q: What’s with the air quotes? Well, not constantly over thinking about stuff would make me happy.

T: So you’re saying you are an over thinker?

Q: No. You’re the over thinker. I like to sit in the background, pour myself a glass of sangria and watch the proceedings. You can be quite a skeptic sometimes.

T: Back to the happiness bit. What makes you happy that isn’t vanity?

Q: Well when you put it that way…hmm.

I would say the little things in life really. A great panorama, moments I’m alone with my thoughts and we’re not over thinking, deep conversations with people ow, like that guy you like, what’s his name?

T: We can’t say that here!

Q: Oh shit! My apologies. But why not Tess? A blog’s purpose is self expression, isn’t it?

T: It is but that’s not why we’re here. And nobody cares about stuff like that Queer. You were saying?

Q: Ah yes. Being somewhere with my people, kicking it, listening to some great music, discussing our big dreams and sharing plans for megalomania. That makes me happy. 

Living in the moment, you know? Cuddling. Taking long reflective walks. When I write something awesome, that feeling is everything Tess.

T: Who are “your people”?

Q: Again with the air quotes…Weirdos like me are my people.

Also “non-weirdos” who get me. That’s how to properly use air quotes BTW.

T: What about family?

Q: What about them?

T: How do you relate happiness with family?

Q: If my mum is happy, I’m happy. If my family is happy, then I’m happy.

T: So what is happiness to you?

Q: Um, happiness is not one thing Tess. I can’t put one thing in a box and label it happiness. That’s just sad. Happiness is many different things which can only be put in a large space where it is free to burst out into different colors, bounce off walls, hang from the light bulb, play with the light switch, bang the doors, break some windows, draw on the white walls with crayons, rearrange the furniture, sing out loud, cry like a baby, stare in awe, wave frantically out the window at passers-by, do some cartwheels, run around in circles and sit down peacefully. That’s just it. It’s many things,some of which we have never heard of in our entire lives. Happiness to me is many things. You get?

T: Um.Wow. If I didn’t know better, I would say you just described a crazy person in an asylum. 

Q: I’m glad you know better Tess. So what about you? What is happiness to you?

T: Whatever makes you happy makes me happy. We are the same person after all ,aren’t we?

Q: I like it when we’re on the same page☺

(Q-Queer. T-Tess.) Why I have an alter ego is a story for another day. What is happiness to you though? Let me know in the comments.

Nice weekend peeps✌

Conversations with my alter ego.

Uploading…
What you’re about to read is sort of an interview. A dialogue. A conversation between my alter ego(Queer) and I(Tess). It is just a page from my weird imagination in an attempt to know what happiness really is. If you get confused, don’t worry, it happens to many people when they try to decipher a way through the maze in my head☺
T: What is happiness to you?

Q: Happiness? 

Um, wearing a clean bra☺

Being gifted happy socks on any occasion, blisssss.

Eating ugali and omena and it’s not even my birthday, wtf ily!

T: Let’s be realistic here for a moment.

Q: And what’s nonrealistic about hygiene and multicolored socks and favorite meals? They seem pretty real to me.

T: Okay then. What “psychological” things make you happy?

Q: What’s with the air quotes? Well, not constantly over thinking about stuff would make me happy.

T: So you’re saying you are an over thinker?

Q: No. You’re the over thinker. I like to sit in the background, pour myself a glass of sangria and watch the proceedings. You can be quite a skeptic sometimes.

T: Back to the happiness bit. What makes you happy that isn’t vanity?

Q: Well when you put it that way…hmm.

I would say the little things in life really. A great panorama, moments I’m alone with my thoughts and we’re not over thinking, deep conversations with people ow, like that guy you like, what’s his name?

T: We can’t say that here!

Q: Oh shit! My apologies. But why not Tess? A blog’s purpose is self expression, isn’t it?

T: It is but that’s not why we’re here. And nobody cares about stuff like that Queer. You were saying?

Q: Ah yes. Being somewhere with my people, kicking it, listening to some great music, discussing our big dreams and sharing plans for megalomania. That makes me happy. 

Living in the moment, you know? Cuddling. Taking long reflective walks. When I write something awesome, that feeling is everything Tess.

T: Who are “your people”?

Q: Again with the air quotes…Weirdos like me are my people.

Also “non-weirdos” who get me. That’s how to properly use air quotes BTW.

T: What about family?

Q: What about them?

T: How do you relate happiness with family?

Q: If my mum is happy, I’m happy. If my family is happy, then I’m happy.

T: So what is happiness to you?

Q: Um, happiness is not one thing Tess. I can’t put one thing in a box and label it happiness. That’s just sad. Happiness is many different things which can only be put in a large space where it is free to burst out into different colors, bounce off walls, hang from the light bulb, play with the light switch, bang the doors, break some windows, draw on the white walls with crayons, rearrange the furniture, sing out loud, cry like a baby, stare in awe, wave frantically out the window at passers-by, do some cartwheels, run around in circles and sit down peacefully. That’s just it. It’s many things,some of which we have never heard of in our entire lives. Happiness to me is many things. You get?

T: Um.Wow. If I didn’t know better, I would say you just described a crazy person in an asylum. 

Q: I’m glad you know better Tess. So what about you? What is happiness to you?

T: Whatever makes you happy makes me happy. We are the same person after all ,aren’t we?

Q: I like it when we’re on the same page☺

(Q-Queer. T-Tess.) Why I have an alter ego is a story for another day. What is happiness to you though? Let me know in the comments.

Nice weekend peeps✌


Better wear your running shoes.  

I have had an eventful past two, three weeks. It has been crazy is all I can say. I think I’m ready to go back to school now because Eldoret has shown me quite enough. I’m not complaining though , I’ve just had my quota of drama for the first quarter of 2017. I think my thighs are toned now 😂😂

Confession: I haven’t ran in the morning for like a month( I feel terrible 😩 ). My sleep demons have been winning but I’ll be back to wage a bigger war soon. By soon I mean June. May isn’t looking lucky either coz it’s started raining for real here and it’s muddy(excuses tu) and I know I’ll compensate for it later when I go run errands for my mum in town and it turns literal.It’s election season and you know how Kenyans turn crazy during this season. (Our problem is, we forget too quickly). 

I’ll be walking around town, doing some shopping in the market when I’ll hear screaming and and people running for cover and so I won’t wait but run for my life too even though I don’t know why we’re running. I will have guessed it though. Teargas. This has happened to me three times. 

Have you ever been teargassed?? Haha! It’s like a slow death by suffocation. You were just walking in town, minding your own business when you see people running and you don’t know where the danger is and you suddenly start chocking. Then the tears. Then the running nose. Then the sneezing and you don’t have water in sight. It’s ugly. So imagine if a grown man can’t handle it, what about children? Babies on their mothers’ backs? Aki I saw a kid being led away by his mum crying looking for water. It was so sad. Let’s be woke guys and help each other out.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve encountered gunshots and a fire. I’m from the hood, gunshots don’t scare me much (lol) and I know what to do It’s like drilled into my head. A fire though? I’ve seen infernos on TV, read about them, I’ve seen smoke from a far but never actually witnessed one up close and helped put it out. I learned one thing though, I’m actually a quick thinker (and here my mum was worried that I was a sloth IRL 😒).

It’s been a constant race against time. Running. Learning to be woke! It’s a tricky season in Kenya currently and we better be cautious. Let’s try to think before we act or speak. Be careful who you confront and where you tread. Maybe carry a bottle of water sometimes ey? You never know when it might come in handy. 

You see when we are running from teargas and we run into someone’s shop, for example, for safety? Remember that person helped you without thinking ati sasa which tribe are you from. They were just being human. So come 8/8/17 , be human too and don’t throw a rock at that shop’s window because the owner is not your tribe. Am I making sense?

My dad was around this labour day and he’s a fussy dad. Since we were kids, he’s been telling us to wear closed shoes when we go out. I wanted to wear sandals on this particular day. We had a small confrontation. He told me,”okay, fanya kile unataka.” In other words, he played the guilt card. I’m a sucker for the guilt card. He said I should wear my running shoes to save time because they were right at the door. Let’s just say I wouldn’t have been able to run for my life with sandals on.

How’s your side of the country looking?Is it peaceful or people are running too? Let me know in the comments ☺

​​

TAKING STOCK 02/2017.

Craving clarity in my life. But when is life ever so completely clear?

Campaigning silently for positive body image.

Crushing on Olivia Pope from scandal aka Kerry Washington, aka Judy Smith. One word, Badass!

Complaining about the cost of living! Eish. Milk. Ugali. Sugar. What???

Dreaming about traveling, sigh.

Dreading 8/8/2017.

Drinking chai ☺ (this luhya isn’t playing.)

Eating brunch from Monday to Saturday. This means I eat two meals a day. Hmmm.

Feeling cold. It’s been raining here since Friday evening . (I love it ☺)

Figuring myself out. I have been working on learning my personality and self-improvement for a while now. Progress level, 7/10. (yaay!)

Finishing up on that mat I was making for my mum. It has taken a long time because my mum was micromanaging me. She’s a perfectionist. I’m a perfectionist. We both wanted different things.

Listening to Classic 105. My old soul is on the loose ☺

Learning new words from different places. Did you know a squish is when you want someone you met to be your friend? Like a platonic crush. Am I making sense?

Loving how my locks are growing so far. 6 inches long😌

Playing a looot of Luther Vandross (his voice and his words,dang❤) and Lemonade ♛

Planning to wash this dog ,Victor. I suspect biting and screaming will be involved. I’m a little scared.
Reading “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, recommended by a squish of mine. It’s a short book and it’s fast paced and I’m so hooked right now. I may be late to the party (29 years late) but that’s the best way to arrive ✌. I’ll be done by this week’s end then I’ll let you know. No spoilers please if you’ve read it already, thanks.

Writing two stories at once (yikes!). One involves a wolf. The other involves a lot of ice. I’ve never seen snow yet I’m writing a story with snow in it?  Never encountered a wolf either. I got crazy guts man!

Working on my confidence as a writer. All these pieces I’m writing need to go out into the world. And those unfinished ones need to be worked on.

Needing some serious mentoring. Someone know how to help?

Considering submitting a story to this year’s Short Story Day Africa. The theme this year is ID, identity. Deadline is July 31st. Opening submission is June 1st. Then again, my confidence is lacking, sigh. I need to get a grip.

Spreading kindness and peace this election season. Lest we forget 2007/2008.

Smelling herbs. I’m kinda sick and my mum is sort of a herbalist…. it’s a long story.

Smiling more over the little things in life.

Watching Shadowhunters season 2.

Wishing  for a fictional boyfriend like Jace Wayland 😒

Feeling grateful 🙏

Happy labour day guys. Happy new month. I hope May is kinder ✌



BODY POSITIVITY.

Stop body shaming yourself and other people. You are perfect and beautiful. You can’t be ugly because God made you. Nothing God has created is ugly – Tess ✌