My mother, the herbalist.

Remember my post on taking stock last week? When I said I was smelling herbs? ( ) Well, it is getting pretty serious around here. My mum has brought home the big guns.

 I have been sick for a while now and my medication is not working. She just got frustrated one morning and I heard her on the phone.

“Her meds aren’t working. I think you’ll have to come in and check it yourself.”

(Person on the other side.)

“Yeah, kuja you see her, hizi dawa za wazungu pia huwa useless sometimes. I think ni vuindi.

(Person on the other side.)

She nods vigorously and hangs up.

“Who was that kwani?” I asked.

“I called my friend Harbert to come check you out. He’s an herbal doctor.” My mum is a big believer of natural remedies provided directly by Mother Nature.

So Harbert came home on Monday and checked me out. 

They discuss the diagnosis in luhya, which is pretty rude if you ask me because they think I don’t understand luhya. I’m the bloody patient so the least Harbert could do is address me personally. As you can tell, I was a little pissed. I’ll translate it.

“What do you think? Is it  vuindi ?”

“No. But I’ve seen this before. It’s not serious. Itaisha tu once you get her the herbs.”

My mum sighs with relief, not because the good doctor has said my case is treatable but because he said it is not vuindi.

Okay. Vuindi is this luhya thing, like a sort of witchcraft. Someone looks at you and “throws you sickness” to translate it directly. These things are real you guys, haha. Suddenly you can’t eat because your throat hurts or you start limping or something funny just happens to you. This is why I don’t like going upcountry sometimes. But there’s herbs to prevent this.

Anyway, my mum is told which herbs to get for me. She returns in the evening with so many plants, she looks like she uprooted an entire bush. There are little berries, purple roots, I swear there is one that looks like weeds we learnt about in Class Four Science. She tells me to wash them and pound them in a mortar.

“And then what?”

“You are to drink it and apply it around your neck twice a day.”

“Ha! I’m not drinking this stuff. These berries could be poisonous. What’s this purple stuff ata?” I say with a ddisgusted face.

“Nothing here is poisonous. My grandmother used to use these. You will drink it upende usipende. I didn’t look like a crazy lady picking plants by the roadside for you to refuse to drink this.”

So now I’m drinking this dark green concoction I thought I would have to drink with a bucket nearby in case I vomit but it’s surprisingly not bitter. It’s not kali at all. It’s just….unusual.

When I apply it on my neck, especially at night, I end up smelling like backed potatoes. I’m dreaming of potatoes too a lot lately. Could it be the herbs’ side effects? Ha, just kidding! It was only once😂
Ps: Mother’s day is this Sunday by the way. May 14th♥